VENT VENT VENT!!!!!!!!!!!

I am the biggest loser in the whole freaking world!!!!!!!@!!! "UPS is a great place to work!" I've mentioned how crappy the working conditions are, I mentioned how few hours there are, I mentioned the low pay, I thought was being a little factious,

WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG!

I'm being paid almost three dollars an hour less than what I was told!!!!!!!! Pitiful wages to say the least, insulting even to a teenager!!!!!!!!!!! Barely more than 50 cents more than minimum wage in several states!!!! And GOODY, after 30 days I belong to a union where I get the privledge of having 20 more dollars taken out of my paycheck.

Now I've worked in sleazy operations, too many to talk about, but the idea of paying insulting wages to a 40 year old man, shit a person who has made much more money doing things like being a cook, for God's sakes should automatically be turned down for the jopb.

Who have I offended to be trapped in such a situation! I listened to other people talk about the benefits of working here. I've even went to an all out effort "following through" on something for someone I cared about and this is my reward?!!!!!!!!!!!???????? shit, I've walked into restaurants, got the job, the next day worked for significant more money and yet it wasn't enough to satisfy other people!!!!!!!

Work at UPS! Don't be trapped in the restaurant business.


I do the right thing by other people, trust people with their schmooze, and I get punished.


Do I have an attitude problem?!!!!!


HELL YEAH!!!!!!!

You would too, if you had my life, trust me, not one of my acquaintances and family has been thought the humiliations, job wise as I have since I've been back.

To add insult to injury, the other job I applied to, significantly better pay, but also pat time is a dragfest. I got my medical exam but because I had a brief asthma back in 2004 any further steps are on hold until I get as checkup that says I'm in the clear. Why, it could not have done before and why I have to pay for it disturbs me. I'm fast running out of money, and any hope for the future is being strangled by my reality. I can't draw when I'm stressed, and I have all but given up hope for any kind of art related career, and I just can't help but wish for a heart attack to take me now.

Am I being over dramatic? Well, maybe but I have done what other people, people I care about have suggested and I am far worse off than I was when I went on my own, which was not good enough!!!!!!!!

The next six months are gonna suck!

Try the next year! If I handle it that long.

Sorry, but I need to vent!

Every thing I have to look forward to, is worse than what I had which wasn't good enough before.

But at least I'm not a cripple or an invalid.

But I am a loser, loser, loser, loser in the worst sense of the word.

Underachiever! Hell yeah, I've disappointed everyone I've known in my life! I disappoint myself!!!!
What do I have to offer!!!!!


NOTHING!!!!!