I haven't worked weekends since I left the restaurant industry which makes me feel like a normal person sometimes, except I'm not normal. When I moved back to New Jersey this is what I hoped for, except I was hoping to work in the city with a good graphic design job, married with the woman I moved back to New Jersey for. Of course the Graphic Design field has gone down the tank the last two years.
So, I've struggled to get by seeking out the good jobs while working crap jobs and losing my self esteem in the process. It's hard to get psyched to do new work when everyone who is in a position to hire you thinks your work is crap. The irony is that I always seem to get jobs I'm ill suited for!
When you are struggling to make something of your life being alone I guess is better, I only get to destroy one life instead of dragging someone who doesn't have to will to endure the crap I dish out. I don't need much in life but I forget that when I get a job it sucks and I need to spend all my time on the computer looking for a job and not watching racist Kramer videos. I feel, these days I have to set my goals for other people, and if I don't succeed in their eyes, I get lectured or worse they walk out the door, never to be heard of again in anything close to friendly terms.
So, where do I seek happiness these days? In the simple pleasures. A bike ride to a historic village. A walk on the various boardwalks. Phone calls to good friends helps but they aren't here in the area to enjoy some of the pleasures around here. Everyone has gone their separate ways, living in different states, but at least we have cell phone technology and I'm thankful for that, if only my charge would last longer! I wish it was easier to see them more, I wish I could hang out with them in some of the places around here I like.
Yesterday, is a good example. There are two places I like to go to that are only open for the warm seasons. One is called Circus drive in on route 35. It's one of those themed drive-in fast food places that have all but disappeared on the American landscape.
Trust me, when I went cross country I was seeking them out, I wasn't successful. Anyway, the atmosphere is hard to beat. It brings back childhood summer. The burgers are good, and the fries are crinkled. Too bad that Pepsi is the cola of choice. It was hot, but they somehow keep a cool breeze flowing. It would be more enjoyable having a companion, but it was still fun to look around and see the happy families enjoying their time near the shore. And to flirt with the cute servers. with my buddies, it would be fun to compete on who is the king of the charmers or at least the least creepy.
The second place I went to is called Hoffmans. It's probably the best ice cream shop I've ever been to, it's close walking distance from my soon to be vacated apartment. They have great ice cream and when the summer hits, it's a hit. I stood outside a long, but fast moving line, Lots of families with young children enjoying a simple pleasure. I think I was the only one there getting ice cream for himself. The young girl behind the counter was pleasant and I made a joke, she laughed, it made my day. I
Anyway, I'm trying to get the most of my immediate surroundings while I'm still here in Spring Lake Heights. The two places I went to yesterday will close for the winter soon after I leave anyway. I hate the fact I have to put this place behind me but...
...there you are