Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Tales of Terrifying Todd



What a wonderful way of spending time with your friends.

An opportunity to be one with nature. A chance to meet interesting people.

And then there's Todd...

It was spring break, and my buddies and I decided it would be a good idea to go camping at the Delaware Water Gap. (We were too poor to go to Daytona Beach)

It was the four of us who had made it to the Gap.




and me.

We decided that we wanted to hike the Delaware Water Gap trails before setting up the tent for the night. It was off season and quiet, we had the place to ourselves. Or so we thought. A young man of about 18 years old approached us. He introduced himself as Todd and that he lived nearby and was doing a day hike. He asked to join us. Now the PIC gang is a friendly group that opens itself up to new people.

Anyway, Todd was a somewhat weird presence. He was a talkie toaster type. He was dressed in a matching acid wash jean jacket and pants ensemble. He wore a pair of boots with no laces in which his jeans were tucked into. This caused the top of his boots to flair out so much it looked like he had bat wings at his ankles.

So we decided to have Todd hike along with us. I don't recall which of our group did most of the talking to Todd. It wasn't me cuz I was nervous around him, it might have been Buck because Pro went off the trail a bit because he had spotted something in the distance.

Pro had made an interesting find. He found a large machete, a nice one at that. He came back to show it to the rest of us. Miggy and Buck got a good look at it when it was handed to Todd.

"Na-hice Kniiiife" Todd said as he waved it front of him as though he were samurai preparing for battle.

"Okay, Todd let Scan look at the knife."

"No! Not Yet!" Todd shouted.

Uh, oh. I was not anxious to have the knife handed to me by Todd. We were getting nervous. He finally gave the machete back to Pro. We hiked up for only about another hundred yards. We now were trying to figure out how to get rid of Todd without him knowing he wasn't welcome to join us.

Anyway when Miggy and I were talking about it we spotted three girls who were hiking along another tributary.

Ooh yeah, we thought but upon closer inspection, they weren't that hot and it wasn't worth our time to hit on them. Todd thought otherwise.

He ran at top speed down the hill. He nearly bowled Miggy and me over in his pursuit. It was an odd sight to see this man run with his boot tops flopping in the wind. It was then I noticed how bowl legged he was. It was like his toes and his heels never touched the ground.

I'm not saying he flied, I'm saying, somehow he found another part of his foot to touch the ground.

"Gee Yur Purty" said Todd.

Anyway, the rest of us told Todd we were leaving, we said we had changed our minds, we were leaving. Hiking had made us tired. We said goodbye to Terrifying Todd while he was still chatting up the girls.

We went into the Buckmobile and drove off for a full half mile to the next parking lot. We felt we were safe enough to set up camp in this new area. We were to set up a tent up there, but decided we were too lazy and stupid to set up the old school tent, so we brought our sleepy bags and camped next to a rolling stream that made me want to pee all night.

We don't think Todd was aware of this ruse.

Or was he?

The next morning one of the Buckmobile's tire was flat.

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