Sunday, March 16, 2008

Not So Fatal Attraction

So I was in the Tower Records on 4th St NYC one day. I was enjoying myself fumbling through some records when I came across some Bee Gees records. It was 1988, so back then that was amusing to me.

Chuckle worthy, even.

I heard someone echo my slight laughter. I glanced my eyes sideways and noticed a woman who had a somewhat crazy look in her eyes.

I was a little taken aback and walked over to the "New Release" section. While I was rifling through the latest hits, I noticed that the same woman had put herself at a strategic vantage point from where I was standing. I took more glances in her direction. She wasn't bad looking but there was just something a bit odd to me.

I decided to put her to the test.

I went upstairs, to the Jazz section. It was quiet and uncrowded. Right around the time I had made the pretense being interested in something, I spotted her again. She was right around the corner from where I was standing.

At this point I had gotten somewhat scared. I breezed through the store and out the front entrance of Tower Records. I crossed Broadway and took a glance towards the front entrance, I didn't see her.

My sense of relief was immediately followed by mild panic, when I saw her coming out the revolving door. She was looking intently for something...

...or someone.

Since I thought that someone was me, I slinked west on 4th toward Washington Square park. I glanced backwards and saw her out of the corner of my eye. I darted south on a side street and went west again until I got to 6th Avenue. I crossed to the other side of 3rd st and hoped that I would lose her through the street crowds. She was walking quickly in the opposite direction. I then took the opportunity to duck into the McDonalds on 3rd street.

I took the time to look out the second story window. I saw her yet again! She was almost retracing my steps! Does this woman have a canine sense of smell? I watched her look around and saw her head north and out of my line of vision.

Thinking I lost her, I relaxed and went to order some food.

I had not even finished my first chicken nugget when I heard a woman's voice.


I nearly nearly choked on my food when I looked up and saw the woman I saw at Tower Records.

"Do I know you?"

I looked at her closely for the first time. She really didn't look familiar. She had a pleading look on her face that made me wish I could help her. Still this was during the time "Fatal Attraction" came out so I actually was quite scared, which explains my track record with women.

"Uh,, I don't th-th-think sooo......"

"Oh, sorry"

And she left, I was to never see her again.

I guess I could have been a little more kind, more helpful and who knows maybe we could have figured out if we really did know each other. Maybe we could have connected, got to know each other and today she could have been Mrs. Scanman and we could have had some scankids. I might not be the wretch I am today. Opportunity lost.

Still she might have been crazy, on the other hand if it weren't for crazy women I porbably would never get laid.

The lesson I learned?

I miss Tower Records.


Steve Pro said...

Wow! How come I never heard that story? that is a doozy! I can't wait for you memoir.


Scanman said...

I was being spiteful. I told the gang "Don't ever tell Pro the story or I will keel you!"

But now that kitty is out of that plastic sack