I had been meaning to make a stream of blog entries looking into bad commercials on TV. Thee thing is, whenever I see a bad commercial, I look it up on YouTube and I don't find it. I found this one:
It's a commercial for yellowbook.com. It takes place in the future when technology is so advanced that we don't need much furniture or colors other than white. It seems this woman is getting married, you know this, because you hear the FutureSounds TM version of the wedding march playing in the background in . It seems this woman has a problem, her wedding dress is so low-cut in the back that it reveals a tattoo that she thinks is embarrassing and would like it removed.
So, she goes to yellowbook.com to look for a tattoo removal place. What? Google went out of business and the Yellow Pages somehow rose form the dead to become the dominate search engine of the future? Will Pan Am be the airline of the future? Will the Soviet Union be our enemy, oh wait...
Anyway, the future has a tattoo removal guy (or is it a robot) who just stands there and waits patiently until someone needs their services. Then this man, (or robot) asks what the problem is, and this being the future, she turns around to reveal her lower back tattoo with a guy's name on it. Then the man, (or robot) looks to see it and asks if she's marrying a guy named Mike. I guess the music tipped him off that she was getting married. She then says that she's marrying a guy named Tom. The man (or robot) reacts with a cringe. The woman reacts with an oopsy, my bad. She is good looking though.
Anyway, me being Scanman, I can't just let this commercial stand on its own.
So, here's a beautiful woman, who decides to scar her flawless body with your garden variety cliched lower back tattoo. Not only that she doesn't really try that hard to come up with an original idea, instead puts the name of her boyfriend, Mike. Now, this is the "punchline" of the commercial. Mike is not the man she's going to marry, she's marrying a guy named Tom.
So, I can't help but this in realistic terms. She's been with a man named Tom long enough for her to get married to him and STILL hasn't removed a tattoo with another man's name on it? Does she have sex with this guy Tom? Or is Tom sooo rich, (That would explain the fab pad) and buying her love so quickly, she hasn't had time to remove it?
Where does Mike figure in this? How long had they been broken up? Are they really broken up? Anyone who had a real breakup would make it priority #1 to get that either removed or covered up. Shit, I get rid of all the photos immediately after a breakup and get rid of all the shared possessions and useless gifts. Granted a tattoo is a bit more involved but she had time to shop for a wedding dress and try it on. Trust me, this takes time.
If Tom had sex with this woman, would he not notice the tattoo has another man's name on it? Did she not allow him to ever see her backside? I guess Tom is not a backdoor man.
Anyway, I'm sick of these commercials embrace the Paris Hiltons or the Kardashian women of the world. When did shallowness become a virtue?
Oh, well, it's a commercial. They want us to be zombies. It moves more product.