Thursday, July 09, 2009

That Dreaded "In Between" Time.

I hate moving. I needed to move closer to work and I needed a bigger place. I found an apartment in a house, a bigger apartment in a smaller house in Union, New Jersey. I wanted to move to Millburn but this place was so nice and I was willing to pay for both my place in Atlantic Highlands and the new place this month. This allows me flexibility in which place I would stay. Summer st the shore is the place to be but that's only for about three months of the year.

Now I'm at the stage where neither place seems to be my own. I don't have enough usable items in Union and my place in AH is starting to look empty enough that it reminds me of my previous place where I had only a computer on the floor and a couch to sleep on and I was hoping to rekindle my failed relationship.

Now, I like to move myself and not burden anyone. I can easily do this with anything that fits in my car. I pile up stuff in Atlantic Highlands and dropped it off at Union.

I've only slept at my Union place twice. My bed's still in Atlantic Highlands. I get anxious thinking about yet another new start but when October rolls around, the shore is a dismally depressing place. Union and the access to NYC will be to my advantage when fall rolls around. Now, AH is not as bad as say, Seaside Heights, Pt. Pleasant or Belmar off season, but the shore shuts down for about 8 months of the year. Those monthsa are the appealing months in NYC. I'm just bummed I'm moving away while summer is at its peak.

Another thing is, I have no clue how to fill up my new place. I can fit all my things in one room and now I have three, plus a small niche room where I plan on doing some real artwork in the coming months. I've lived a spartan lifestyle since high school, the only exceptions were when I lived with someone. I got rid of much of my things when I moved from Seattle and had to get rid of more things when I moved to my teeny tiny place. I don't know how much I should change my attitude about possessions because I find it almost virtuous to live small. Plus, I hate having a bunch of things I don't use gathering dust because it looks pleasant.

I've been wanting to move out of this place in AH since I moved in after a nasty breakup that left me very short of funds. I took the place because my landlord didn't need much information from me to move in. He asked me where I worked I said "UPS" and that was enough. I didn't tell him it was my "in between" job from working in a restaurant and my current job working at the airport and that it was part-time and paid so little. Two years ago I felt ashamed at my situation. My ex-girlfriend was good at making me feel that way. Now, a few places I was able to afford rejected me because I didn't make enough money. Of course that was when the economy was at the housing bubble peak right before the crash. So maybe they would be more accommodating these days.

I like the town of AH and I like the proximity to the shore but there is a racist element in towns nearby that's a little disturbing. I hear it in the post office and have seen bumper stickers on pick up trucks saying their boss is a painter from Austria. It's a bit more right wing than I like and during the election of 2008, I heard an earful.

Union is a bit more diverse, it has a movie theater walking distance from my place like I've had in AH. I'm closer to a better super market and closer to New York City. I'm closer to my brother and my nephew. I'm not sure how the bike riding is going to be, I'm not going to be close to a rail trail like in AH. The Henry Hudson Trail is great and I'm gonna miss it. The trees outside my window and the far off view of New York City from my bathroom window is a treat I'll miss too. Every view from my Union place is a bit duller, where will I sit in my new place?

Oh yeah, In front of my computer monitor.

Union, is close to all these colonial old towns that pepper Essex, Union and Morris county. This will be fun to explore the next year on my bicycle while I set up plans to transfer to Seattle. Maybe, the next year will be good enough if I chose to contact with old friends that I have re-established through Facebook that I'll stick around.

I'll be closer to them now. I'll be close enough to work to hang out a little on Friday and Saturday nights. Old movies in Jersey city, here I come!

Sill I really, really, really want to move back to Seattle but my three year old nephew, whom I don't really see enough is the person I think about more than anyone these days. I felt I missed out on having children by my failed relationships and failed work career. There is still time but I don't want to be Tony Randall. In the meantime Sean fills my needs to spoil a kid.

I wish I could combine both experiences. Seattle just makes so much more sense than NY/NJ these days. It's affordable, clean, and ahead of the curve when it comes to progress. A city of the future, not a city of blue bloods.

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