I've finally taking more aggressive approaches to meeting new people. I am single and I want to meet women that will be more than a one night stand. I don't want to do the match.com or other dating sites for two reasons.
One, They tend to set you up with people of the same age or close or that's who seeks you out. I know it sounds shallow but I want to hook up with females between the ages of 28-35. I've never been married and I carry no baggage in starting up a relationship but I expect the same in who I date. I can handle a divorced woman with no kids if she's not dependent or depending an ex husband. I do want a kid of my own by someone who's old enough to be established in her career but not too old to safely bare children.
The second reason is I don't want to have the "oooooeeeesh" moment where you arrive to meet your hookup and you don't like what you see or she don't like what she sees. Or the moment after accepting your appearances when one of you makes a "deal breaker" moment that means it's time to move on.
So, I found a solution in which I meet up with groups of people and maybe develop new friendships with people who share some of my varied interests.
Meetup.com is a site that allows you to seek out groups of people to engage in things you like to do in your area. Union, New Jersey while a nice town is not an ideal locale for a single man. however, I'm close to Montclair, Jersey City and Hoboken.
The first group I joined was a board game group that has Jersey City gatherings in which you can drink beer while playing popular board games or less popular games. The gathering is about 20 strong filled with a diverse group of people. If you go there to meet men and women to hook up and you find none to your liking, so what? You now have new contacts and some good clean fun on a Saturday evening. These events aren't as regular as I'd like them to be, But it does take me back to when I used to play board games with my ex fiancee in my Seattle days. If only I didn't have to get up at four the next morning.
The second group I joined is a life drawing session where I go to Hoboken to draw from a live model. This brings me back to my SVA days where we used to do this on a weekly basis. The only difference there is a hell of lot more tattoos(ugh) and piercings on the models today. I like getting back to real drawing but man am I tight! I haven't done any sketches that satisfy me. I make the same mistakes I always make and still have a hard time with hands and feet. Still it's great to be doing this. The people in this group are artists mostly, Looking to show off their work in shows or publications. This helps me to get better at my own craft. For ten bucks for three hours of this is a great deal.
As far as hookups...Well, there are women there but none I felt any chemistry with until last night. Funny enough it was she who started to talk to me. A sweet young woman who made me feel comfortable. As is usually the case I fell for her right off the bat and flustered my way in trying to be cool. I kept it friendly hoping that she will be a regular participant and I can build it up from there. Now most of our conversation was how great it was to be drawing again after not doing it for so long.
So here's the thing. My idea of a long time is 15 years, I'm a fearing her idea of a long time may be three years. She's going to school but had gone to a previous school and graduated. So I'm guessing by her appearance and her history she might be 25 years old. Or she can be as old as 28 but I'm afraid she might be a young as 23.
Now I have nothing against 23 year olds. Obviously. But I'm getting too old to date someone that young. I felt that way when I dated someone that age nearly 7 years ago and that relationship was a disaster. Anyway I might have pushed her away when I said I lived in Seattle for 14 years and SHE probably did the math and realized I was at least in my late 30's.
If only... I'm 43 now.
Anyway, Tuesdays are back to being a great night for me again. It's the only night I get to hang out because I have Wednesdays off. I do the life drawing class from 7-10 in Hoboken and head to Jersey City to do some Karaoke, where I'm starting to feel comfortable in a place called O'Connels. Now I don't have to go way down to Long Branch to have to do my Tuesday karaoke.
Now if I can find something to do on Monday nights.
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