Commercials I Hate Part 1

In my decades long struggle to figure out what I want to do with my life, I have had ideas on what to do as a comedy routine about annoying commercials. I wouldn't include low budget commercials, I only talk about the commercials that were created by large ad agencies, that get paid tons of money and wonder "is this what they come up with?" The following is one of those commercials. It's for a Suzuki product.



One thing I hate about most car commercials is that they always show them, off-road going speeds that are illegal and tearing about nature for what purpose? This commercial takes it a step further. A Suzuki motorcycle speeds along on one side of the screen and a Suzuki SUV is tearing it up on the other side of the screen. quick edits go back and forth and finally the two vehicles meet with a "hot" woman stepping off the motorcycle and a dull man comes out of the SUV, exchange keys and "witty" banter about whether they can handle the other's vehicle. and they speed off to whence they came.

Reasons I hate this commercial

1. Comparing the thrill of a motorcycle to an SUV? Especially one with so many comfort extras, it's like driving a lazy boy is absurd.

2. I find hard bodied women so unsexy. Her body is toned like a teenaged stud boy. She certainly is more masculine than the man.

3. Where are they coming from? I'm a stickler for those unquestioned details, but if they are joyriding in the desert, whose property are they trespassing on? Do they own the property? How shallow is their existence? And can they crash into each other next time to do us all a favor?

4. I could not get a good look at the product, so I have no idea if it's a product worth pursuing. It's black.

Anyway, I figure commercials will still be available on Youtube in the future, so look forward, (yikes) to more of this.

Famed Batman artist Marshall Rogers died. I loved his Batman run in the late 70's. Very slick, stylistic detailed.

Sole Patrol!

Now Back To The Funny...I hope

Scan's Corner Deadpool?

Richard Jeni has died, apparently he killed himself. He was a solid stand up comedian. He wasn't my favorite comedian but at a very low point in my life he might have saved my life.

A bit melodramatic?

Perhaps. I'll explain.

Several years ago, I was engaged to a woman I had lived with for 5 years. We were set to get married a year later. However she had something else up her sleeve. She broke up with me a day after a disasterous party we went to. She gave vague reasons why she wanted out of the relationship at the time, but I soon learned that she was cheating on me with a co-worker. She would marry him a year later.

Anyway, I was devastated the relationship ended.
Furious at the fact she cheated on me.
Ashamed at what I did at the party.
Embarrassed at the fact everyone at the party knew the relationship was going on without my knowing about it.
Helpless in the fact I was trapped in a low paying job I didn't like in a town of Federal Way, a town I hated.
Lonely, because every friend I had at the time were ones I knew through my relationship, and I couldn't bear to face these people.

I was messed up in my mind. I worked in a restaurant doing the day shift in the back which allowed me a lot of contemplation. Part of my prepping involved chopping up romaine with sharp knives.
Very sharp knives.
I definitely had thoughts of putting the knives to use on something other than the lettuce. It was that bad.

Anyway, I had a radio to listen to. At the time I listened to the Bob Rivers Show. I likened it to a Seattle take on the Howard Stern show. Funny but mellower and more polite. I listened to it daily and for the most part it was pleasant but one day they had a guest, his name was Richard Jeni. Now I knew Richard Jeni from a UPN show Platypus Man. I didn't like the show, and thought it wasn't funny. So I was surprised that I was laughing my ass off at his routine on the radio show. It was the first time I laughed in weeks. I needed that really bad, as the highlight of my days at that point was work, and I hated my job.

I don't remember specifics on Richard Jeni's routine, but I remember it being smart, silly, and relentless. It kept my spirits up just enough for me to move on with my life. It took some time, but anytime I saw Richard Jeni on TV I would watch and I would laugh. I saw him once at a comedy club a few years later when I was living in Seattle, a city I loved.

I'm shocked at the way he apparently died. He saved my life, why did he take his own? It's an unfortunate side effect to being a comedian. A lot of comedians are depressed and self destructive. I didn't know Richard Jeni was one of them.

Rest In Peace Funnyman

More Sad News...

Brad Delp of the rock group Boston died. He was the lead vocalist whose style was hard to emulate. He was only 55.

Gee Grandpa

Sad News

One of my favorite British Sitcom actors died. John Inman was one of the stars of the long running sitcom "Are You Being Served", a wacky broad comedy that takes place in a London department store. He played Mr. Humphries, a flamboyant senior salesman. At first he was not the main character but soon after became the most popular character. He was 71.

The Cartoon No One Wanted To Touch

About ten years ago I had worked for a weekly newspaper called the Seattle Scroll. I had a featured cartoon printed in every issue. I had a very supportive editor in Matt Asher. He allowed me as much freedom as any cartoonist could hope for. I made jokes about the celebrity of Jesus, the mob, and firing squads. This was one he did not want to print. He chuckled but felt that the cartoon was not right. Now Matt was a Ayn Rand disciple, which meant he wasn't a prude or a censor. But I think he might have been worried about a possible lawsuit by a huge corporation and the Seattle Scroll was a bit on the fledging side so I respected his wish and made another Jesus joke.

Me, I thought the joke was a good pun, but a bit anachronistic. I was into reading old New Yorker cartoons and they had many jokes about the KKK. Still, I couldn't let the joke die. A few years later my pal, Al Nickerson was putting out the comic, the ARGGH!!! Chronicles, in which he wanted a few contributions from his friends including me. I offered a few Pipe Dreams cartoons and other cartoons. I included some others including the KKKMart strip. He politely told me that he and others thought maybe it wouldn't be a good idea. I think they were afraid of the possible racism in the gag.

I thought about this strip recently and found it when I was cleaning up my room today. So here it is in its black and white glory on a blog no one reads is the infamous cartoon.















In retrospect, I should have included more sign gags.

Crack Cream

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